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I didn’t think much of it when Lily first started talking about Elsie, it's perfectly fine for a five year old to have an imaginary friend. When I was five I had Jeremiah, who really helped me out when I started kindergarten, so no harm in her having Elsie to help her with the same, Lily, much like I was, is an extremely shy child. She would rather sit alone at the park than go down the slide if other kids were around. She hates going to the park if other kids are there. Again, I was the same and unfortunately for me I never grew out of my social anxiety. I was able to make a few friends in school somehow, and as soon as I chose them over Jeremiah he left. Those few friends I made in kindergarten are still pretty much my only friends, I don’t do too well in situation where I can meet people. Thank God for the internet or I would have never met Sara, Lily's mom. But unlike me as a child, Lily lost her mom about a month after she was born in a car accident. More reason for me to accept Elsie, if that’s where her mind takes her to help her grow as an only child to a clueless single dad, sobeit. I needed all the help I could get, so Elsie was welcome. She, or they I should say, would do what typical five year old girls do. Tea parties, played princess, and Lily would put on puppet shows for Elsie. Lily would be sitting on the couch watching TV and I would sit next to her only for her to say, "you can't sit there, that Elsie's spot." I'd play along and move and all would be well. When tucking her in at night I would have to give Elsie a goodnight kiss too or else she'd get angry, so I obliged and kissed the air next to Lily's head every night. A few nights ago Lily was in her room playing and ended up falling asleep early before I could tuck her in. So I crept in, covered her up and gave her a kiss on her forehead and went on my way. I took full advantage of her falling asleep early, soaked in the bath with a beer and a cigar, watched a few minutes of the Bruins game and then decided to call it a night at 9pm. About an hour after I dozed off I was awoken by the sound of Lily's door creaking open. I paid it no mind, figured she just had to pee since she didn’t go before bed so I dozed back off...for a second. "Daddy," Lily said while poking at my arm, "Elsie wants to know why you didn’t say goodnight to her or give her a kiss." I wiped the sleep from my eyes, and rather than explain that I wasn’t thinking about her imaginary friend I just said, "sorry ladybug, Daddy was tired and wanted to go right to bed after you fell asleep and forgot." She looked to her left for a few seconds and looked back at me. "Elsie says you're lying, that you drank beer in the tubby and watched TV after you kissed me goodnight." I sat up real quick, a little creeped out. "She also says smoking is bad for you too." My mouth tried to form words but before I could say a thing Lily said, " Elsie said the Bruins lost 4-2." I didn’t watch the end of the game, when I shut it off it in the second period it was tied at 2, so naturally I grabbed my phone from the nightstand to check if what Lily was saying was true. Sure enough the score was 4-2... I got out of bed and picked her up to carry her back to her room. "Lily, how did you know that?" I asked. "How did you know I took a bath and watched hockey after I kissed you goodnight?" "Daddy, you know," she giggled, "Elsie told me." I took a deep breath and decided to break the news to her as we walked down the dark hallway to her room. "Lily sweetie, your imaginary friend couldn’t tell you all that, how did you know?" Her smile disappeared and stone faced she said, "Elsie's not imaginary Daddy, you just can't see her because she's really a ghost, the real Elsie died already." I was a bit taken aback, and to be honest creeped the fuck out, but tiredness was winning so I put Lily in bed, gave her a goodnight kiss and walked away. "You forgot Elsie again, she's really not happy now." I turned back to Lily, "Elsie isn't real, she doesn’t need a kiss." After I shut her door I just stood there for a second, let out a sigh and shook my head. I was far too tired to grasp the situation so back to bed it was. Right before I walked away I heard Lily's sad voice say, "I don’t think that’s a good idea Elsie, I need my Daddy. He didn’t mean it." Somehow despite everything I was able to easily fall asleep. The next day I decided I would just ignore anything Elsie related, maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. The afternoon went pretty normal, after I picked lily up from school, she came home, ate and went to her room to play. I was getting some work done on my computer when I could just sense I was being watched. I turned and saw Lily standing right behind me. "Elsie said your mother didn’t think Jeremiah was real either, but he was." I swallowed hard. I never told her about Jeremiah, there was no way she could have known. "What?' I asked. "What did you say?" Jeremiah told Elsie you peed your pants on the first day of school and that you left him. He's not happy with you either." I did pee my pants on my first day of kindergarten, I was crying so much that day that I just peed. Again, not something I talked about, how did Lily know? "Lily" I yelled, "Elsie isn't real, where are you getting all this from, who's telling you this? Where did you get the name Jeremiah?" She turned without a word, and walked halfway up the stairs before she stopped. "Elsie told me." Now I was bothered. She was talking about things that there was no way she would know. My mother stopped by a few times a week and would take Lily out for an hour or so, so I figured she told her this stuff. I gave her a call and she laughed when I brought up Jeremiah. "Now that’s a name I forgot about," she chuckled. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. If she didn’t tell Lily then who did? Shaken, I made it through the rest of the afternoon, I dreaded putting Lily to bed that night, but 7:45 rolled around and I went up to tuck her in. "Goodnight Ladybug," I said with a kiss to her forehead. For a second I thought about it, but dismissed it. I wasn’t' gonna play anymore, I wasn't kissing Elsie goodnight. She didn’t say "goodnight" back. She just laid there. I just closed her door and decided to take a few allergy pills to help me crash. I slept well, got up and got Lily off to school. I picked her up that afternoon and the second she climbed in the car she broke down. "Max pushed me off the slide today, he said I am a baby and can't play on it." This pissed me off. She actually was up by the slide while other kids were up there, coming out of her shell and this little shit pushes her out of the way. Nope, not happening, I was gonna give this little fuck a piece of my mind in the morning when I drop Lily off. I consoled her, took her for ice cream and it was all good. I was surprised she didn’t ask me to buy Elsie an ice cream, but I wasn't complaining. That afternoon, she just wasn’t herself. She was being clingy, wouldn’t leave my side. Usually she would be in her room playing, but she was all over me.Right before bedtime I finally asked her what was wrong, figuring it was something to do with that little shit at school. "I'm bored, Elsie is out taking care of things so I have nobody to play with." I shrugged it off. I was done with Elsie and hopefully her being out was the beginning of her end. I put Lily to bed but as soon as I left her room she started crying that she didn’t want to be alone. Rather than bother fight it I let her sleep in my bed. She had a bad day, and I was tired so it was beneficial to both of us. She tossed and turned all night. I barely got any sleep so when it came time to wake up I wasn’t in the greatest mood. That was ok though, I was planning on tearing the little shit who made her cry a new asshole and my tired, irritable state just made it seem like a good idea. When we pulled up to the school that morning there were a few police cars out front, along with teary eyed parents. I got out and asked one of the mother's from Lily's class what was going on. She looked at me and broke down. "Max's house burnt down last night. There were no survivors." Speechless, I got back in the car and took Lily home. I don’t think I'll be forgetting about giving Elsie a goodnight kiss anymore, I really don’t want to make her angry.

Our relationship is going through a rough patch and we're trying to fix it. I didn't think I'd be at this point but I've lost trust and have become paranoid, filled with anxiety and difficulty sleeping. This relationship has been the only relationship where I felt she was the one. I love her, and her family. We're really close. Recently, it's taken a turn.
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At first, a few weeks ago I realized we don't go out enough particularly because of me. The relationship was becoming complacent, with little to no intimacy. My lifestyle is very regimented, and I do feel I put in more effort to take care of us in terms of living/food. Anyway, we had a conversation I committed to being more receptive about going out. I also brought up her coworker and she basically said they're just friends and she's committed to me. At this point, she's been going to a lot of social gatherings with groups for a few months now.
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I was okay with her going out and me staying at home but it became more frequent and she'd always be later than when she said. Like 2-3 hours later, so I'm expecting her back at 8PM (she's been out since noon) but she's back at 11PM. I expect her back around midnight, she's back around 2AM. Another night she was out with this friend and her brother and she didn't come back, she stayed at her brothers so it was a surprise to me when there's no one next to me in bed in the morning.
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It's always been she hung out with her brother, which I was ok with. But then she became friends with a coworker and then it became a trio where they were going out often and I joined maybe 1 every 4 times, so I have met him. There's certain things she avoids doing with the coworker but I still was a bit uncomfortable with certain parts of their coworker's dynamic when we're hanging out.
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Early into this, I told her I was uncomfortable with the time she spent with her coworker and she needed to set boundaries. She shouldn't go out with him alone. This was also after I found out she went with him to pick out a cat to adopt(she loves cats, we just adopted one last year). I'm not sure what else she had done, but she was asking if it was weird to have lunch with him and I said yes, I think so. So she's been hanging out with him + her brother most of the time, or him and other friends from work.
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When she comes back or I do hang out together with her and her friends she's very affectionate. So it's nice to see her happy since she had been down, in the past complaining about a lack of friends. But it affects me a lot that, particularly because this is a single male friend. I'd probably be less worried if her friends were female but she's mostly into games and nerdy stuff which is male dominated. I don't think she would physically cheat on me but I'm struggling. I don't know her thoughts but from what she's said, she's strictly looking at him as a friend.
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I've said a couple of times to her, maybe we aren't compatible because I don't go out enough. If she likes him, sobeit, just let me go and move on, but she says no it's not like that. She's confident in our relationship. But she throws it back on me that questioning if I have lost confidence in our relationship. I didn't know how to answer. I am committed to working it out but it's taking a toll on me.
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Last night she went out to a concert she said she was going to invite her brother and the coworker so I assumed he was there. I texted her and her brother last night when she wasn't answering. Turns out, her brother didn't go. She told me later when she came back around 2AM that he didn't respond. She went with the coworker and a couple of their friends. Coworker dropped her off home, I'm assuming they were carpooling with other friends too...
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Her brother then texted me this morning that he had no idea about a concert. Possibly the message/call could have dropped because our phones have had that happen before but this has thrown me awry. Seems like there would have been more effort to try to get her brother to answer right?
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I'm at a loss. Am I being controlling if I ask her to reduce contact? Do I need more perspective? I don't want to restrict her life. I want her to be able to do things without me, and I was fine with her going out with her brother, but this now is too much for me with the coworker, and even if not just that coworker, late night out with any friends has been difficult to handle. I end up sleepless and anxious.